6 essential tips for gay couples

As a gay man, you may have had your share of social disapproval in this heterosexual-dominated world. But you stuck with what you know to be your sexual orientation and now you're in a great relationship. You're finally comfortable in your skin and want to make sure you're happy in your relationship. However, dating or relationship advice for gay men or people from the LGBTQIA+ community suggests that you should be aware of certain things essential to having a happy relationship. So here are 6 relationship tips for gay couples to help you enjoy a happy and fulfilling relationship.

1. Make an effort every day

You love your partner and you want to show him every day. It doesn't have to be a big show of feelings, but bringing him hot coffee made just the way he likes it might be enough to send a message that you care about him. When you're past the heady, happy days of starting a relationship, continuing to make small loving gestures for each other will go a long way in showing that your partner is important to you.

2. Own development outside identity as a couple

When gay partners come together, like heterosexual couples, it's natural to experience a sense of fusion, a state where you do everything together. It's exciting to finally find someone you want to spend every waking and sleeping moment with. However, healthy relationships need breathing space to keep things interesting. Avoid the temptation to expect your partner to satisfy all your emotional and intellectual needs.

Even if you're madly in love, take the time to keep your outside interests separate and continue to work on self-development. When you get home, you'll have something new to share and keep the conversation and "spark" alive in your relationship.

3. Make sure you understand what your partner means by “relationship”

It's no secret that in the gay subculture, "relationship" can mean many things. If for you it means being exclusive, make sure that you are also compatible with your partner's opinions. If you both want to keep the relationship open to include other people, describe what that means.

Whatever you decide in your relationship, make sure you both agree, or resentment will build and your relationship is unlikely to last. If you and your partner have decided to be exclusive, take steps to help this decision stick. They should only focus on each other and build a legitimate relationship.

4. Work on developing emotional intimacy

You and your partner have amazing sex. But now that they've committed, they'll also want to work on deepening the emotional bond between the two. This means learning each other's communication styles. It's not always easy, especially at the beginning of a relationship. Spend time out of bed just talking and understanding each other's emotional needs and desires.

A relationship that relies solely on a sexual connection doesn't last very long. Strengthening each other's emotional intimacy through daily check-ins, as well as time devoted to meaningful conversations, will help you stay together through the inevitable conflicts that arise in all relationships.

5. Keep past relationships in the past

You are now in a new and rewarding relationship. Both want it to be a success and are willing to put in the work to make it a healthy, life-enhancing partnership. Part of this means letting go of past relationships, especially relationships that ended on a bad note. Do whatever it takes to let these past hurts out of the present and maybe some counseling sessions can help with that.

6. Schedule a weekly night for quality time together

Once you get into the groove of the relationship, it can be easy to take each other for granted. No. The number one death knell for a relationship is failing to communicate to the other person how special they are to you. Schedule a date night each week and honor it. Don't let anything conflict with the time you've set aside to connect with your partner.

Check not only how the day / week / work is going, but also if there are any problems related to the relationship that need to be shared. Happy gay couples will tell you that one important thing they do to keep their shared life interesting is to focus on each other without outside distractions at least once a week.

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